Hetalia Wonderland: AlfredxReader Ch.3

I'M BACK YA'LL!!! Well, I haven't gone THAT long... I just thought, you know, you guys might have missed me. Not that I'm lonely or care or anything...(lololol so tsundere~) Anyway, last time we left off, Alfred was screaming like a little girl.

Alfred: Was not!!!

Author: . . . Sure, whatever you say Alfy.

Alfred: hmpf *pout face*

Author: I'll buy you a burger. NOW MOVING ON >>>>>

I wrote some of the dialogue in RP mode because it's just less work for me. And just another note, if you are wondering why I'm using Alfy instead of the reader on this little adventure, it's because I thought I'd pull away from that cliché. Alfred is one of my favorite Hetalia characters, so that's why I used him. So I'll shut up now so you can read. Enjoy! (while it lasts...)

Sorry if it's a bit long.

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"W-who a-are you guys?" Alfred stuttered at the two people in front of him.

"Ve~ we're Tweedledee," said one, "and Tweedledum, bastard," shouted the other. The two looked identical, although, they had some small differences. Like how Tweedledum's hair was slightly more radish than Tweedledee's; Tweedledee seemed to have a more cheerful attitude, while Tweedledum was, well, I think you readers can guess. They both wore vivid green buttoned-up shirts, semi-red pants, and a big, goofy white tie that sparkles (not like a vampire because that would be stupid).

Alfred: Uhhh... Okay. Do you guys know the way out of this forest?

Tweedledee: No, no, no. The first thing you do when you meet someone is say, "Ciao~."

Tweedledum: And shake hands... though I'd rather not...

Alfred: Uh, sure. My name is Alfred F. Jones and I (here it comes) AM THE HERO!!! *shakes both their hands*

Tweedledee: Ve~ *grabs hold of Tweedledum's hand (much to his dismay) and the 3 all start spinning around in a semi-happy circle*

Alfred: Hahahaha! Kay, that was fun, but I gotta g-

???: Fusosososo~ Can I join in on the fun?

Then came another guy (lol) who had chocolate brown hair, a smile that didn't look like it would be leaving his tan face any time soon, and green eyes brighter than Tweedledee's or Tweedledum's shirts, but he was wearing the same (tacky) clothing as them.

Tweedledee: Ve~ Tweedleditz! What a pleasant surprise!

Tweedledum: What are you doing here? Get out! You're a sore to my eyes.

Tweedleditz: Aww~ But when I see you two, it's like seeing the sunrise.

Alfred: Man, I could really go for some pies.... Wait, why am I rhyming? And who are you guys?!

Tweedledum: Well, I'm Tweedledum.

Tweedledee: And I'm Tweedledee.

Tweedleditz: I'm Tweedleditz and together we make three!

The three struck a pose (well... Tweedledum just stood there).

Alfred: . . . Okay. That was weird. Uh, I guess I'll just go n-

As Alfred tried to creep away, Tweedledee got in his way.

Tweedledee: Why?

Alfred: Well, I was following a boy dressed like a rabbit, but then I got lost, again...

He tried to walk around Tweedledee, but was stopped by Tweedledum.

Tweedledum: Why?

Alfred: Because I have to get back to my friend and figure out why she's angry at me.

Alfred turned around and guess who he found,

Tweedleditz: Porque?

Alfred: Wha? Dude, I don't understand Spanish! And anyway, I just want to find out what's going on.

Tweedledee: He's a curious bowl of pasta, isn't he?

Tweedledum: More like an over-ripe tomato, if you ask me.

Alfred: Hmpf *pouts* Well, sorry if I'm curious.

Tweedleditz: Ah~ Well the salmon were curious too.

Tweedledum: And we all know what happened to them.

Tweedledee: Poor little salmon~

Alfred: Wait. What salmon?

Tweedleditz: Fusosososo~ Le diremos una historia, sí?

~:~:~:~ IT'S A STORY WITHIN A STORY TIME ~:~:~:~

The story of the salted salmon:

There once was a Milkman walking along side his good companion, the Carpenter. The Milkman was a short man with soot black hair and light brown eyes. He wore a milkman uniform with cat ears attached to his hat. The Carpenter was well built, blonde, and had blue eyes that could shoot bullets through your soul. He wore a frilly pink apron on top of his white shirt and overalls.

Walking along their merry way, they begin to feel peckish.

"I'm feeling peckish," said the Milkman (well no duh).

"I am too," responded the Carpenter.

"I know just what to do. Pochi," he called. Pochi splashed into the sea and barked his way through the water, awakening a school of salmon that laid below. Their little bow ties spun 'round from the unexpected guest and swam towards shore, only to be cornered by the Milkman and the Carpenter.

"Konnichiwa my little friends," said the Milkman with a darkened expression.

"Ja. Ve vould like for you all to join us for lunch," said the Carpenter.

"Don't worry. We won't hurt you. More or less," the Milkman whispered.

The Carpenter with his magical carpentry powers, quickly built a wooden shack with a sign that read, "Restaurant" in front. Curious, the little salmon joined them for lunch, whatever that may be. As they all took their seats, the Milkman asked the Carpenter:

"Would you be so kind and fetch us some side dishes for our *licks lips hungrily* guests?"

And so the Carpenter went into the back of the shack, happily preparing bread and wurst to go along with their meal, as well as a cup of milk for his friend. When he went back to the table, the Milkman was satisfyingly wiping his mouth in front of a plate piled with bones and fish tails. The Milkman chuckled nervously.

"Oh my. I must have lost control of myself. I'm terribly sorry, Doi- I mean Carpenter-san."

Unfortunately, sorry didn't cut it. The Milkman ran for it while the Carpenter was on his tail.

The End~

~:~:~:~ I PULLED A HAMLET (and the Milkman pulled a hamstring teehee) ~:~:~:~

Alfred: . . .? That was a story?

Tweedledee: Sí~ Now it's time to fight!

Alfred: Fight?!

Tweedleditz: Con tomates!!! *throws tomato*

Tweedledum: CHIGIIIII!!! *is hit by said tomato* you, YOU BASTARDO!!! *flails tomatoes everywhere*

All in all Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Tweedleditz had a Tomatina fest right there and then. Alfred, on the other hand slipped out as quickly as he could. Now he was back wandering in the mysterious forest, still as lost as ever, looking for his way out.

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This is where we timeskip to our next scene, but this chapter has dragged on a bit long, so til next time.

Alfred: Wait! You're just going to leave me hanging?!

Author: Yeppers!

Alfred: And what about my burger?!

Author: That, my cute little friend, is another story